By Dennis Deitchman
I have always been pretty physically fit, and what I thought was mentally fit. In reality, I was just being stubborn and completing tasks in hopes of coming out the other side “fixed”. I could not be in the moment. I could not recognize my accomplishments for what they actually were, and never felt like my successes were ever good enough. I didn’t feel as if it was me accomplishing these feats, I always felt as if it were someone else checking these boxes off I had created in my mind. I felt that since I struggled while doing something hard, and there were thoughts of giving up the whole time, that I was unworthy to even mention it. I almost felt ashamed that I would struggle so much on hard hikes, long unsuccessful hunts, or intense workouts. I was always putting myself down, saying I was not good enough, and nitpicking every little thing. Always striving for “perfection” and in my eyes, always falling short.